Track 12: Whale Penis Moment and Spurs of Creativity

"You have the power only in theory but without an army you're nothing more than a punk...."

I just made up that quote...I have no idea where that came from but I like it so yeah....it really has nothing to do with anything....<.< >.> ......

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*SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!!*

LMAO!!!! *insider*

Okay, haven't been keeping up with my blog and it sucks cause I have a guy for that but he zonked out on me but with good reason so it's all good...I must say I feel bad for him because something happened to him but I'm not telling cause y'all don't need to know so I let him be and I was concerned about him and he was surprised and I told him that is what friends do that and mess around but enough of that. He's okay overall and I'm glad to see you posting. BTW I can't keep up with you so that's why I haven't been commenting lately. Excuse me if I seem a little distant and out of it. I was up til 2 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!!! writing a paper I had started at 10 PM because I spent all of Wednesday cleaning up my room so anybody can walk through it without killing themselves. I still haven't even finished cleaning but I must say that my room looks bigger without the extreme mess lol. Maybe I can get me a new bigger bed *SQUEE!!* that would make me ever so happy and it will rival my friend's amazingly comfortable bed!! DAMN YOU JUST RUB IT IN WHY DON'T KNOW!! ::moaning from the other room:: 'OH THIS BED IS SO COMFORTABLE!!!'....-_- What a dick....but I still luv him ^_^....

Anyways, so it's Thursday and this week is just getting more and more fucktastic as it goes by but I have to ride it out and get it over with. Times like this I wanna drop everything and hang out with my very good friend. That dude knows how to make me unwind and relax even if I'm in the middle of writing a paper for class due the next day lol. It sucks cause I'm in fucktastic Laurel of all places to be and I have nothing to do but homework and another paper due at midnight via e-mail...which reminds I finally found out who was hollerin' at me on Friday...turns out it was mi running mate Kyle very awesome dude one of the few white people I'll be friends with...And one day we'll bridge the gap and soon rule this country and the first demopublican or remocratic whichever works better. VOTE MONKO/RODRIGUEZ '12!! Bitches



So, I'm here for class which I'm thankful that they're ending soon...which means soon I'll have summer freedom but then I have to leave for a road trip to Texas to visit my cousin who I haven't seen in like evur but then that means all connection to my friends are memorex!! WAI!!! Thank goodness for texting if I didn't have such a piece o shit phone...But I dunno we'll see what summer has in store for me...Maybe I'll find me a summer romance ::Bill Clinton's voice:: Who knows finding out is half the fun...uh huh huh huh huh....



On Tuesday I got me two more magazines Anime Insider which is a cool magazine overall for any anime buffs and this issue is on VIDEO GAMES!! AHH THE PLEASURE CAN ENSUE!!!....I think I just jizzed in my pants....lol and also got a copy of ShoujoBeat which I don't normally read but I mainly bought cause on the cover it has NANA's characters NaNa and Ren and it's just plain smex lol....

"I don't draw based off talent, I draw based off boredom..."

I beginning to notice something that I haven't done in a while. I'm beginning to draw more and not based off anything I'm just bored and all of a sudden I'm coloring with my pen and pencils while pretending to listen and giving a crap about what my teacher is saying. I have the pictures I drew on my Facebook which I dunno why I posted them up there for...and they've attracted some attention from other friends and all of a sudden I'm getting requests and I tell them that

1.) I'm not good at drawing so I don't want no offense or criticism
2.) I don't really do request because I don't do good with pressure and I hate having limits

I only draw these pictures because that's what I'm thinking of and they're of what I'm interested in which happens to be in mafia types and gangs and I'm extremely bored. Someone may influence me but overall it's what comes to my mind. I also don't do request because what would be the point of the pictures most of them were spontaneous and out of the blue and I feel that if I drew something of request then it's like WTF? Now, writing is a different story...I can do request on that or just gimme a topic and I'll write although it may take awhile. My friend is my biggest influence he's what got my writing going again for me. I never had a inspiration for my best character Demario until I started speaking to him again and now he's my favorite out of all of them. I always go to him when I need help or I'm stuck and he usually kick starts me up and I luv him for that ^_^! I came up with a sort of mantra to the way I handle my art and work...

"I do not write based off ideals, I do not draw based off talent....I write what I feel and draw what I imagine....I do it because of me...." <-- that's how I see it and I love it...

I more of a creative person in general...when it comes to writing and drawing. I hate structure and I hate limitations and I hate guidelines...Which is why I was so psych when my English teacher gave us the choice of either doing a 3-5 essay on a common theme between stories or create your own 8-10 page ten minute play. I WAS LIKE *SQUEEEE!!!* A lot of others chose the play too which blew me but then I thought maybe they're doing it cause it's much simple than writing an essay on common but I dunno I'm not them but for me this is creative freedom and I was already thinking about what I wanted to write. My friend thought I was insane but 8-10 pages is nothing hell I'd write a hundred pages if I could....The limit of 8-10 pages is the only downer but it's understandable. I have to convey a meaning within the play and I have it...I think after it's don't I'll post it if it gets an A. I made a quick visit to my sad ass muse for advice on what my purpose of should be and like usual he came through and I'll tell you guys it's going to based on my two characters Demario and Claudia and this play has such a deeper meaning to me because I'm basing it off someone me and my buddy know all too well of course with his premission which is why I was a little hesitent at first because what if he didn't want himself protrayed or what if I don't truly capture his character...Oh so many details....I'm LUVIN' IT LIKE MCDONALD'S!!

So I should really start writing again but fuckin' school has been consuming and blowing my life straight up the asshole but hopefull when summer rolls around I may be able to create again. So I guess that's really all I have to say for now...Boy that was a lot lol and now I have to go and read up on some English the fuckery of my life as of right now lol. So that's my song and I take my bow...so have a great afternoon everybody and I'm out....

~HeadphonesLuV~

Track 11: I Don't Know Anymore

Headphones here bringing you an update in this music track called life....

I find it funny that I call myself Headphones even though I'm doing nothing that involves music in my life as opposed to just a past time love. I sometimes feel I shouldn't be calling myself 'Headphones' because I don't do anything with music besides listening to it but then again that's just my opinion. I chose to call myself Headphones because every time I am seen I always have earphones in my ears and my iPod shining all the time lol but like they say...Music=Life...

So, whatever happened to that show "Hole in the Wall" it's on and off the air on Fox....It's like that Katy Perry song Hot n Cold. And of course it was originally a Japanese show and you don't even need to do your research on it lol...Anyways there is a reason why I randomly brought up that show because I actually DO have a hall in my wall...

So, I come home from school and I see my street blocked of with three huge trucks and guys with construction hard hats on and a really HUGE crane with an equally huge piece of tree being carried off. I walk into my house, then my room and something is TOTALLY wrong...My Tifa...is not on the wall instead she is rolled up on my bed and in her place there is a fuckin' hole in my wall with a crack running along the top of my window so my dad tells me that the fucktastic workers had damaged part of our house when part of the tree hit the side of our house with such an impact that it knocked off a small part of my wall...So I gotta clean up my room so some strangers can prance through my room to fix my wall...fml....

Well, today I went all over the town with no chance of going home which was plain fucktastic...I went from Hyattsville after class to Beltsville which wasn't bad because FINALLY I see the guy who makes me bite my lip and wanna do dirty things to him but what makes me pissed is that when I finally do see him I have to get off the bus so as I'm getting off I walk passed him and just gave him a small smile and that was it...so then I'm on my way to Laurel which I was not looking forward to because I wanted to go home and relax since I had no Criminal Law class but NOOO instead my dumbass offered to go to Laurel to fill a stupid prescription for my dad so I spent about two hours of my life there. I surprisingly ran into an 07 HP Alumni at Giant's Pharmacy and I was whoa you work here that's fantastic (his name's Michael btw and that's all Imma say) so I leave it to him to file the prescription and I go off to buy some thingies I need for my post and for my writing in general. Here's a little side note about me and writing...whenever I write I need to always designate a certain pen to my writing because I'm a person of consistency when it comes to my work the style, the ink and etc...Anyways I go to the counter and the dude on check out is cuute lol so afterwards I leave while I'm texting and I realize I forgot my stuff so I run back and here there with the bag I fill somewhat silly but then again I'll just pretend his cuteness and my texting got me distracted...Texting and cute boys are not a good combo for me lol...So afterward I walk out all of a sudden I hear my name and some random guy is waving at me and I can't recognize him at all I feel bad for not recognizing but then again WTF!! So, I went to Books-A-Millions and read magazines to kill time and I buy Urban Tattoos Magazine which is an awesome magazine about artists and people who get tatted and view as a way to express themselves...So I pick up the medicine, go home and now I'm hear making this blog after I dunno how many days.


So, I have a new rant and it's on the touchy subject of love. The one thing I cannot stand at all and I only see this in girls...WHY THE HELL ARE THESE BITCHES SO TWO SIDED WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!! One minute you're crying and bitchin' about breaking up with your so-called 'true love' and the next second you're all lovey-dovey with your also so called 'true love'. I mean seriously I'm at the end of my ropes whenever I hear a person bitch about being all heartbroken and bitchin' and moanin' and then the second later they're all lovey dovey with someone...OH FUCK OFF GRASSHOPPERS!!! This qualifies you as the naive fucktards of our society...Yes I did cry when I lost the one I thought I really cared about but at least it took me a while to recover and I didn't see anybody remotely interesting and now I'm 90% up to par but I still have my pain and for that I will be just fine but for all you little naive fucktards YOU'RE ALL FUCKED!!!

So, on Saturday I went to a wedding and the chick was THREE hours late for her own day...My ma asked me to take pictures and I just state that I'm not wasting my battery life on a chick who doesn't even know the meaning of on time...But I ended taking tons of pics lol...I gotta say they're style of getting married involves a lot of repeating lol but overall it was awesome cause they made it so joyous and fun. So thankfully I brought another pair of comfy shows cause my feet were screaming bloody murder lol the reception was just as fun and lively and the food was fantastic lol...so that's all that occurred...Special thanks to my friend who I texted to keep me from going insane with boredom while I was waiting lol

So, today is Sunday and all I did was clean, clean, and clean and holy crap I can finally see my beige carpet FOR ONCE!! lol I'm such a silly jalapeno....then I just dropped everything to meet up with an old flame lol and that's all I'm gonna say so now I have to prepare for the upcoming week which means TONS OF WORK!!! Goddammit I'm screwed....anyways that's all I have to say so that's my song and I take my bow...Good night to all....

~HeadphonesLuV~

Track 10: Hm...

I guess basically I'm thinking and writing...I was doing some thinking yesternight and before I was doing my fucktastic essay for Latin American History I stumbled upon a poem I had written for a Michael Miller concert last year before I graduated from High Point and I felt proud that I got to at least perform a work of mine before I left even though it didn't win I didn't really care...It then led me to think "I hide myself behind my work" so as of write now I'm in the process of writing a brand new poem that made me drop every other one I'm working on because I felt inspired for two reason.

1.) I found my inspiration from reading my old works

AND

2.) Because of a certain guy...

No jokes right now...I was talking to a good friend of mine on AIM last night while I was working on my essay and I noticed that I mentioned this guy we both know a lot and I'm not gonna lie I noticed and I was just waiting for him to ask me about it and he finally asked me the one question I had coming but dreaded...."Do you love him?"....I wasn't offput by it so I didn't lie "No, more like lust" but in a way I can see it. They was a time where I wanted him but I knew I'd never have him. Which is why I hold a little resentment towards a former friend. I asked him one night and I was gonna be blunt "Why did she get to be with you? But I never got a chance?" He told me he was looking for a new path. Those weren't his exact words but that's how it is...I still don't understand it til this day but I've let it go. Ever time I think of him I think of Santana from American Me...and the talk between him and Julie (or Yolanda I dunno and don't give a fuck) outside after Little Puppet's wedding...

Montoya Santana: Whatever, you know.
Yolanda: You're like two people. One is like a kid. Doesn't know how to dance, doesn't know how to make love. That's the one I cared about. But the other one, the other one I hate. The one who knows, the one who has this wrapdown, who knows how to run drugs, who kills people!
Montoya Santana: I don't have to listen to this shit, alright? If you were a man, I'd...
Yolanda: You'd kill me! Oh no. No, you'd fuck me in the ass, right? Right?
Montoya Santana: I guess we got nothing to say to eachother.
Yolanda: You know when I met you, I was impressed. Yeah, you talked about La Raza and education and the revolution, but you know what man? You really don't care about any revolution, do you? You're nothing but a fucking dope dealer.
Montoya Santana: Just a road to where we're going, esa.
Yolanda: Bullshit.
Montoya Santana: Sabes que? I don't do drugs, I don't even like them, but they're there, and it's a reality. And if I don't take care of that business, somebody else will.
Yolanda: Yeah, well, your business kills kids, man! It kills kids! Like Neto and Pablito and, and Miko, my son, who look up to you! Man, they idolize the ground you walk on!
Montoya Santana: What the fuck do you want from me? Do you want me to start over, esa? Get a job? How about become a citizen?
Yolanda: There's no fucking hope... for our kids, for our barrios... with people like you around

He reminds me so much of him...I told him that the girl was only your illusion because he could never escape his torment. And now I remain loyal to him as a friend I sit there and listen to his hurt about his once love and even though it kills me a little inside I just fake a smile and give my words. I could care less what he does or who he does but when he starts to say some dumb shit that's when I get fuckin' pissed to the point when I would want to smack him. So I write this piece in dedication to you you pinche pendejo because without you I wouldn't have the character I've written and because you need more than you think you deserve.

So, I should really be thanking my friend I talked to last night because I would've kept this bottled up and without him I wouldn't have started a blog to let out this fustration. So thanks to you too.

I think after this one I may right one based off of ME descirbing all my characters...They're like my way to escape and be someone else...the people I'd always wanted to become but never could. So here's hoping....

So that's all I have to say and that's my song and I take my bow...

Mucho LuV

~HeadphonesLuV~

Track 9: Te Quiero

It's guys and songs like these that make we want a spanish guy of my own but then I have that little realization of the fact that I can't speak a lick of Spanish which in turn lessen my chances severely of ever getting a Spanish guy -sigh- which is why I have developed my taste for black guys...I guess it's my secret shame to bear...-sigh-

So, I have nothing to really post about today...nothing really happened...just went to my Criminal Law class and now I gotta try and clean up a bit and try to at least write. Today seems so blah...I guess this is all I have to say about today well I mean the weather was a beaut today and made me wanna go out and have fun but of course I had nothing to do or go...or no one for that matter....Well, I guess that's it for me so that's my song and I take my bow...

~HeadphonesLuV~

Track 8: Death

Wow, two blog post in one night that's a first...

So, this blog is more of a way to get my thoughts of my chest...so something compelled me to send a text to my friend asking if he was okay and thankfully he was okay but to tell the truth it was his facebook status that concerned me so I thought maybe it was going to be a sad event. So while I was on the bus on my way to Laurel I was listening to my music and "I Hate This Part" by the Pussycat Dolls comes on and it's the techno version of the song but it sound how makes me go deep into thought. Something about the lyrics made me think about life and death.

"Everyday, seven takes of the same old scene...Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine"

Anyone who went to High Point High knows that we've heard about three recent deaths of HP alumni the most recent being a sufferer of cancer who most unfortunately lost the battle. Although I didn't know these people I still felt bad because it shows just how short life is and also that time isn't infinite. I could've walked by these people in the hallways of HP and never knew. So, I was so deep in thought I actually almost spilled some tears which would be the second time I almost cried on a bus. I often wondered "If I died, would I really be missed...would people cry for me...would alot mourn for me..." Ever since I can remember I always wondered about death what it was like to die...where we would go? Water, Time, Death, and Air are the only things that can never die but when I think of it I don't think I'd want to live forever if I fulfilled everything in life what would be the point of living forever...This message goes to a certain someone...if you ever think about harming yourself or if you think that death is the only way you're escape pain that was inflicted on you by a broken heart then YOU ARE DEAD WRONG!! If you were to ever die I WOULD FUCKIN' HATE YOU!! I'd speak at your funeral and tell everybody that I hate you for what you did because your escape has inflicted pain on every person you know because you are the greatest dude that I've known...For some reason the thought of death made me think of him and his pain he's going through I pray that he's smart enough to know that he has people who will share in his pain...I worry about the future of those close to me...I care about them all because they have come into my life and made me the person you see here today...I dedicate my life to all y'all...and this is where my song ends...I take my bow...

~HeadphonesLuV~

Track 7: Homicides, Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse

Forgive me for all those who are thinkin' of dialing the cops or a shrink due to the severity of my blog title but a big fuck you to all who judge before thinkin'. So, I'm here at LCC killing some time before I go home I just got out of my Criminal Law class and I have about a half an hour before they start shutting this place down so I thought I'd post a blog. I must say that from up on the fourth floor looking about at Laurel I must say that it is a somewhat nice view at night although Laurel is overall fucktastic no offense to those who live in Laurel. As for my blog's title, I was studying the Bill of Rights and Freedom of Speech which is my favorite right as of now and tomorrow I'll be studying me some homocides, sexual abuse, and child abuse...OH LET THE FUNESS ENSUE!!

So today was a somewhat good day...I felt NO sickness whatsoever and that just made go woot woot inside at least until I got to class so then I was just like fuck me UGH!!! Then I have to come here to fucktastic Laurel for my night class Criminal Law. Now mind you I'm not complaining about the class itself I just hate the timing. I honestly must say that I am in dire need of a perv deterent which is crime deterent but for perverts because I hate standing at the bus stop and have weird ugly guys wave or call out to me...especially the hispanic pervs. I wish I'd at least worn sunglasses cause they actually make me feel invisible that way I can just look somewhere else while remaining foward. -sigh- what can I do? Oh yeah, start driving soon so I can trade in my BMW for an actual car. And for those who always had the luxury of a car this BMW = BUS, METRO, and WALKING!! Which leads me to another annoyance is when MD students bitch about the campus' buses...AT LEAST YOU CAN RIDE FOR FREE!!! I GOTTA PAY DOUBLE NOW THAT THE TRANSFER ARE OFFICIALLY DEAD!! SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR STRIFE!!! FIE ON YOUR LIFE!! A pox on all those who are still in fuckin' high school bitchin' and moanin' about wanting a car. YOU LITTLE BITCHES!!! THE SCHOOL BUS IS FUCKIN' FREE AND PROVIDED FOR YOU!! It's cheaper....when you fuckin' graduate and are going to college then you can bitch but not now.

Dammit ever time I rant I always forget what I'm gonna say...Well I guess that's it for me for now I'll come back with anymore things I might want to mention...so that's my song and I take my bow...Good night to all...

~HeadphonesLuV~

*EDIT*
So, I was in touch with my inner immigrant at school...so apparently I didn't know that when you go outside the doors lock behind you and you can't get in without an ID card and also the fence to get into the actual area also locks up...although I called the office to try to get back inside but of course no one answered...so I had two option...

1.) Jump over the legde and fall to my death by hitting concrete

or....

2.) Be like any other beaner and hop the spiked fence

So, I went with option 2 and now I'm left with holes in my jeans, possible scratches, and hopefully I won't get questioned...It really hurt trying to get over because it had spikes along the top so of course I got caught on them but I got down and ran to my dad with no one witnessing a mexican behaving suspiciously lol...I also found a pack of cigs that was almost full so why waste them...and fuck all you anti-smokers I've got problems so bite me...and that's basically all I got to add...

Track 6: Dreamsleep

I think the upside of today was that I didn't have to go to my Abnormal Psychology class so I wanted to hang with my friend but I felt waaaay too tired and sick...again....fml....but he understood lol so thank q on that and that reminds me I still need to get my umbrella ella ella (<--damn Rihanna...I'm still pissed about that whole Chris Brown/Rihanna situation). The downside is that I was suppose to meet my group members at 11 but couldn't get here til noon and I had my fucktastic English class which of course had my rough draft due which in turn I didn't have so I bullshitted an excuse and thankfully had my drafts from the paper I was gonna used so I was good...now I need to work on that this weekend which sucks cause I have my Criminal Law class til five so no me time for me...I'm straight up blownface...so here I am at LCC working on my other fuckery Math homework that is due at midnight so I'm pretty much fuckin' screwed but I'm making an attempt...Procrastination is my worst enemy and it has one this round.

I guess I've thrown you off by not flat out explaining the meaning of my titling this blog so I'll tell you. I had a very excellent dream that could only be considered a dream because it involves claustophobia, elevators, High Point, lockers, me, a Mexican, and fucking lol...Now that I'm reading it...it makes no sense but it was good no less better than the ones I've been having lately. Although I've already done a little something with a certain someone I can' help but wanna do something else so I guess my dream picked up on that I just don't get what crawling through elevators shaft have to do with it. Oh well, Freud would have a field day in my head.

I'm hungry....bring me a soft taco for I am hungry lol and now I'm blownface by the realization that Laurel Mall has decided to take out Taco Bell man Laurel Mall should just be torn down like now...anyways after I'm remotely down by this school fuckery I'm heading off to McDonald's and gettin' me some chicken....

So that's my song for now and here I take my bow...so long folks....

~HeadphonesLuV~